Rant 890712382-S
Subwoofers Are For Pussies
What makes young people think that after decades of recorded music, the world suddenly needs new kinds of amplifiers and speakers specifically to reproduce low frequencies? As if these frequencies didn't exist before this rap/house or whatever you want to call it came along? As if we didn't already have amps and crossovers and speakers specifically designed to reproduce these frequencies faithfully where they are necessary?
Let me tell you children, it isn't in your fucking car.
If you think you need subwoofers for your home or car stereo, you need a life.
Proper speakers and amplifiers will reproduce that shit you subject yourself to just fine, without the need for these toys. The real reason you buy into these devices is so that you can subject the whole fucking neighborhood to your 'music' as well.
Since your life revolves around that boom bap boom boom bap, and your hearing is already half gone, you think you need to feel the lows in your chest as if you were at a rock concert, or else it's just not right.
If you were setting up a home theater I could understand the justification for purchasing a separate amplifier and speaker for the ultra-lows, so you can enjoy the explosions more and take some heat off your main amp. Explosions are not music.
What the hell musical content do you actually think resides below 60 cycles? There is none, dingalings. The fundamental of bass drums resides down there. Figure out the frequency of the lowest note on the piano and you'll see that all you are doing is giving yourself pumped ultra-lows which do nothing but make your shitty music sound shitty. If it actually sounds better to you, you need a hearing test. Your cilia are screaming for mercy. Those are the hairs in your ear that pick up the different frequencies and tell your brain about them. Once they are mashed, they do not heal. Keep it up and you'll be deaf below 1KHz by the time you're middle-aged, like some bass players I know.
Properly recorded modern music, no matter what the genre, does not require anything more than one decent stereo amplifier and two decent speakers placed properly in order to faithfully reproduce what the producers and engineers had in mind. These devices reproduce frequencies within the entire range of human hearing, which is appx. 20Hz to 20KHz.
Subwoofers have their place in sound reinforcement settings such as theaters and concerts, in order to take the work of reproducing lows away from the main amps and speakers. It's basic physics, children. The lower the frequency, the more power is needed in order to amplify it. This is why subwoofers and dedicated amps are necessary. It isn't to make your balls vibrate while you run red lights.
Feeling loud lows in your chest can be cool, but it isn't a way of life. Stop being a pussy, stop putting your hearing in danger, and put together a real stereo system that will faithfully reproduce your music across the entire audible spectrum with the least amount of toys.
| ©2004 Paul Kurzweil |