Thanks to the combination of politicians who care more about tactical missiles than educating the young, parents who are too busy or oblivious to care what their children know, teachers who are just as ignorant as their students, and spell-checking software, an entire generation of children in this country has grown up illiterate. In other words...
your children cannot read and write their own fucking language.
SHAME ON YOU AND THEM!
I can't stand it anymore. It's time for a little lesson in elementary English.
For those of you who don't know what a homophone is, it is not a device used to call 1-900 gay sex lines. Bada-boom. A homophone is a word that sounds exactly like another word but is spelled differently, as opposed to homonyms, which are words that are spelled the same but have different meanings.
WAKE UP, AMERICA. Your children don't have a clue about this stuff. I could spell and write better than most people under 30 nowadays when I was seven years old.
What's even MORE sad is that when you ignorant little MORONS get corrected over this stuff you act as if the person correcting you is some kind of nitpicker. The fact is YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELVES AND PROVE YOU ARE IGNORANT AND ILLITERATE. YOU ARE THE SHAME OF AMERICA AND YOUR GENERATION.
If you truly are too lazy or stupid to learn the most fundamental words and rules of our written language, then do the whole country a favor: DON'T EVER WRITE ANOTHER WORD AGAIN.
Here are the prime examples I see used and abused every single day of my life:
The words THERE, THEIR, and THEY'RE are not interchangeable. They have totally different meanings. If your children weren't taught this stuff in elementary school, you should consider moving to a different school district.
THERE means thither, referring to a place apart from where you are. "When you get THERE call me." "THERE it is." "I can't be THERE until tonight." THEIR is the possessive form of THEY. "THEIR mother is on the way." "This is THEIR car."
If you care to notice, THEIR is an exception to the rule of "I before E except after C." Other words are exceptions as well, such as WEIRD. If you can't deal with these exceptions, move somewhere where you don't have to deal with it, like Iran.
THEY'RE is the contraction of the words THEY ARE. "They're on the way" means THEY ARE on the way. Now, let's use all of this basic and elementary English together in a sentence:
"There is no excuse why their English skills are so poor that they're bound to look like ignorant fools."
Got it?
Another trio of homophonic disasters is the words TO, TOO, and TWO. I see ADULTS mix up TO and TOO. Where the hell were these people educated, and who had the balls to give them a diploma?
TO is a preposition. If you don't know what a preposition is, look it up in the dictionary. (No, that does not mean dictionary.com.) "I work from 9 TO 5." "I need TO learn how TO write my own fucking language."
The word TOO means "also" or "as well." "I failed the English test TOO." It can also refer to being excessive. "This is TOO much for me." "You are TOO ignorant for words." The word TWO represents the numeral 2. It comes after one and before three. One, two, three.
Another prime example of the illiteracy of today's youth is confusing YOUR and YOU'RE. The word YOUR is the possessive form of YOU. "Is this YOUR handwriting?" "I think YOUR English sucks. The word YOU'RE is the contraction of the words YOU ARE. "YOU'RE an illiterate moron."
Here is another common mistake made on a continual basis that pisses me off to no end: confusing the words THEN and THAN.
THEN usually refers to a time, past, future, or next in order. "Back THEN, people knew how to read and write." It can also mean "in that case" or "as a consequence." "If you don't know your own language, THEN there is no reason to apply for this job." The word THAN is a conjunction that creates a comparison between two subjects. "I can read and write better THAN you." "I know you can write better THAN that."
Oh, by the way, how does one possibly confuse the words lose and loose? They aren't even homophones. LOSE is pronounced 'looz' and LOOSE is pronounced 'loos.' LOSE means either to misplace, or to fail to win. "Did you lose your keys?" "Did she lose the competition?" LOOSE is the opposite of tight. "You have a screw loose." "You will lose the race if your shoelaces are loose."
Oh for fuck's sake, I just saw someone use the word AFFECT instead of EFFECT. He wrote "I tried 'blah' and got the same affect."
AFFECT is a VERB, and EFFECT is (usually) a NOUN. "Your illiteracy can AFFECT people in ways you cannot fathom." "The EFFECT your stupidity has is beyond your comprehension." MORON.
Finally, let us dispel any confusion you may have about the words ITS and IT'S.
While it is true that an apostrophe plus the letter 's' is used to show a possessive, such as "the girl's hair," the word IT'S does NOT mean "belonging to it." The word IT'S is the contraction of IT IS . "IT'S a terrible thing being illiterate." ITS is the possessive form of IT, not IT'S. "Turn it on ITS side. Yet another exception. Deal with it.
What the FUCK is so hard about this stuff? What were you cretins DOING in second or third or even fourth grade, learning how to count packages of CRACK? If you didn't master this stuff early in grammar school, I strongly suggest you do it now, before you end up embarrassing your ignorant self in front of a prospective employer.